I’m ordering new business cards and I want them to be cool. I work with creative people and so a boring, or poorly printed business card just doesn’t fly.

Then again, I find myself asking why I even bother printing these things. Sure — if I meet someone and I can pull out a badass business card then I feel like we’ve made a connection. Maybe they’ll call or email me about some work in the future.

Here are a few cards that just can’t be ignored!

Business card for a plastic surgeon:

Business card that can turn into a model airplane, car or boat:

Business card for a prankster (might not the best idea):

But I know that truth (or maybe I’m too cynical). I imagine my business card will probably go into the recipient’s pocket, and if it is lucky enough not to get folded in half over a piece of chewed gum later that evening, it will most likely go through several loads of laundry after sitting at the bottom of a dirty clothes hamper for at least 3 weeks.

Well, that’s what happens to a lot of the business cards anyone has ever given me. It’s not that I don’t care about their information or want to be in touch - in fact, sometimes a week after I get someone’s card I’ll think ‘hey - I should email that guy!’ But then I can’t find the card because it’s in any number of pockets (pants, jackets OR shirts) if not totally lost. Then I’ll find the card several months later - probably while folding laundry - and if it’s still legible I’ll send an email…

Hello! You gave me your business card about 4 months ago at the [fancy name] happy hour. We talked about collaborating in the future. I’m so sorry, but your card fell into an old bag of Doritos and when I went to take out the trash today, I noticed it. It’s a little wet, too, so hopefully I’m interpreting the smeared ink well enough and sending this email to the correct address! If so - and if you can forgive that - I’d still really enjoy talking to you about…

So - I know that giving my business card to people can be futile. But I’m not saying that I treat every card this way - in fact several cards I get go straight into my wallet, where they sit far too long, but at least they’re not being put through rinse/spin cycles. Or, worse, almost eaten.

So, here’s hoping my new business cards can make an impression and instead of getting thrown out by potential collaborators, clients, etc. — maybe they’ll call back. Maybe.